Letter to a Child by Bekah Dreyer

Letter to a Child

I have seen you weeping, crying, sobbing.  You are afraid, lost, alone and weary of this journey.  There is no way out of this for you but to let go.  The only trouble is that you don’t know how.  You don’t know how to forget, how to move on, how to find worth in yourself again.  Everything is dark in your world and you think no one can see it, but I have.

I have seen through the darkness and found your soul.  I can feel the warmth of your heart and the kindness you so desperately want to hide.  Because kindness is a weakness.  Kindness is wrong for this world. Kindness will get you killed.  Again. People will use your kindness for their own gain, leaving you alone on the sidewalk with no one to show a little kindness to you.  And all you did was love.  You loved with all your heart – your great, warm heart – and having your love cast aside hurts more than any physical pain ever could hope to.  You don’t expect anyone to understand what you’re feeling, but before you were even born, I have.

I have seen the look in your eyes, the lifeless glaze of feigned apathy.  But deep down, I know there’s a child waiting, praying, trying to claw his way out and show once again that life is worth living.  And you would let him out if you could, but you can’t find a way to open up enough.  You pretend not to care, that everything is alright, that you are only stronger for this.  But the two of us know that you feel just the opposite.  You keep your façade up, guarding the only thing you have left, letting people batter and break every other part of you, but I know all that you want is to be safe and to stop feeling this pain.  That’s all you’ve ever wanted.

So come to me, child.  I will stop your pain, hold your bleeding heart in my hands long enough for you to stitch it back together.  I will embrace you in my arms, keeping you safe from harm so you can enjoy life again.  I will take you by the hand and lead you to calm waters where you can tear the wall to your heart down and once again allow yourself to love.  I will hold you until the tears inside stop pouring.  I will warm you until you no longer feel the ice in your veins.  It does not matter how long I must, only until you can go out into the world again.

Just come to me.  The way is not hard.  And I will never throw your trust around like a toy, I will never use your kindness to harm you, and I will always cherish your love.  No matter how much of it you give to me.  Together we can put you back together.  Together we can hold your head up.  Together we can conquer the hatred of this life.

And know that I will always be there for you.  You are my child.  You are my life.  You are my everlasting love and I will not abandon you.  Even when we are beyond this pain, I will always love you.  Just because you feel alone does not mean that you are.  Come to me and I will show you once again how to laugh.  I will show you again how to love.  I will show you again how to live.